Monday, April 22, 2013

Sweet Surrender

My not so little one anymore had a meltdown today.  The dilemma?  The lego the little one wanted was being used in another child's creation.  The meltdown began with crying and expressing frustration.  When an acceptable negotiated treaty could not be concluded, screaming commenced.  Visits to bedrooms for time outs only seemed to escalate the mood to hitting, kicking and general lashing out.  With property and personal safety in jeopardy, I scooped the little one up and held him/her close, rocking back and forth, humming a little song, hoping that the tune might help refocus her/his mind on something besides her/his anger.  Many minutes and songs later I could feel the little one's body relax as he/she began to hum and sing along.  Within a minute s/he was happily preparing for school, eating breakfast and rejoining general life.

What made the change?  Surrender to the reality of the situation.  Holding my little one today, I saw myself in my Heavenly Father's arms fighting the reality of life.  My stresses, my anger, my frustration at things or people not behaving the way I WANTED THEM TO!!!  Fighting the existence of problems in my "Happily Ever After," wishing and waiting for EVERYONE ELSE to GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER!!!  so I could be happy and have everything the way I want it to be-- the way it ought to be!

Isn't that what frustration is all about --  our inability to control our environment, ourselves and others.  Oprah taught,

"All stress comes from resisting what is." 

We spend our energy fighting with the reality of life around us instead of accepting reality for what it really is.  My little one wasted 40 minutes of her/his morning worrying, stressing and being angry about something s/he could not control.  How much of my life have I wasted stressing about something I can not control?

I am learning that the pathway to peace is not found in controlling, harnessing or even powering through my life (or workouts...) but in admitting that I do not have the power to change or complete life on my own.  This surrender allows me to create and exist in a new or different reality-- the reality I have fought against-- the one that really exists.  Surrender can really be positive.

Neal A Maxwell said, (I miss that guy...)

Consecration [giving yourself to God] is the only surrender which is also a victory. It brings release from the raucous, overpopulated cell block of selfishness and emancipation from the dark prison of pride. (emphasis added)

Thank you, little one, for your reminder today.  Sweet Surrender is what I can give.

1 comment:

  1. Love this post. Thanks for the reminder. My sister always says happiness is just an equation: your expectations minus reality. If you want to be happier, just lower your expectations to be more reasonable. I think that goes for ourselves and those around us, especially those in our families. Sometimes I find I have higher expectations for my kids and spouse than I do for myself (as far as good behavior goes). Love that quote from Elder Maxwell. So true!